Well, friends, if you haven't heard by now - the news is OUT. Surprise - I'm pregnant!
19 weeks, in fact. Goodness. Almost halfway, already!
I thought it was time to write out part of the story, some thoughts, some surprises, and a couple of pictures... So here goes:
As many of you know, I've had my share of health issues over the years - miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, cervical cancer - all of which led my hubby and I to the conclusion that having babies probably wasn't in our best interest. About five years ago, we just decided to live our lives and make the most of them, and not worry so much about having kids. We even have spent time bouncing around the idea of eventually adopting a kid who would otherwise age-out of the system.
And we were good with this. We know how truly blessed we are in our life together and were really ok with spending our lives sharing our blessings with others, and enjoying every minute. Life was good.
Well, almost two years ago, I started feeling the itch. I hadn't had any health concerns for awhile. Life was moving along happily. We had babies and toddlers all around us - and were loving every minute with them. And I started to want our own little family. I asked the hubby what he thought - and his face said it all. Of course, we could try! I went to a series of doctors appointments and had some procedures done to see how complicated things could get - and was given a clean bill of health. So, we started trying.
After a year, our doctor asked if we wanted to look at other options - in vitro, hormones, etc. Hubby and I had decided early on, if this was meant to be, it would happen. With no interventions. We were still okay with whatever would happen. Life was still good.
More months go by... I celebrated my 36th birthday with hopes and plans for all kinds of life changes over the next year. I had a new focus and drive on working towards what my future would hold - I signed up for some classes. I decided to lose weight - and dropped about 30 pounds. I challenged myself to raising the money and walking in the Susan G Komen 3 Day Walk - money raised, training going awesome! Life was good!
On my birthday, in March, we discussed how much longer we were going to put life "on hold" with the possibility of getting pregnant at any time... I was beginning to feel like I couldn't move forward on some of my goals as long as I was always waiting for "what happens when...?" Well, we decided we'd keep trying into the fall and then re-evaluate and possibly call it quits.
Well. I'm pretty sure three weeks after that conversation - we got pregnant! I'm pretty sure God was laughing when it happened. What's that quote about God laughing when you make plans? Yep.
I had a weekend trip planned to go see an old friend - and in an email told her I was excited to share some of my life changes with her... Only to realize, she would probably read that and think I was pregnant - so I emailed her back quickly and explained that that wasn't it! (4 days later I would find that the joke was on me!)
I came home from the weekend, led a high school girls' book group on Monday night, and on my drive home realized I was late.... I stopped to pick up a test, thinking I would just be verifying that I was indeed not pregnant - again. I waited for the hubby to go to bed and took the test.
Seriously?! I have to admit I cried out of shock. Those first emotions were of being overwhelmed, totally surprised, and to be honest... A little resentment. I had finally given up on the idea of being a mommy - and had started working towards other things for my life. And now?! Really?! (Please don't tell me what a horrible person I am for feeling this way - I'm just being honest. It gets better!)
I decided to sleep on it, and take a second test in the morning. Sure enough - that one was positive, too. This was real. It was happening! And surprisingly, a good night's sleep was all I needed. The next morning I cried again - but tears of happiness this time! I couldn't wait for the hubby to get home, so I could tell him!
I called the doctor's office and went in immediately for a blood test (ahhh... the joys of being "high-risk"). It was positive - and the hormone levels were high enough for an immediate ultrasound, scheduled for the very next day (one of the perks of having past ectopics - they have to verify right away if it's a viable pregnancy). And the midwife appointment was made for the day after that. Busy week!
When Mike came home that day - after a very long workday - I told him we were going out for pulled pork sandwiches at a favorite restaurant (I had been craving them for weeks, but he kept dissuading me from going in order to help me with my diet). He grimaced and tried to talk me out of it... So I pulled out the "ace up my sleeve." I had a picture of the two positive pregnancy tests on my phone, and told him I wanted to show him a picture before we left. I handed my phone to him... He looked, and said, "whose are these?"
Ours, Babe. They're OURS!
It took a second. Then his face turned bright red, eyes welled up with tears, and he was speechless - and full of hugs! ...And yes, I got to go have my pulled pork sandwich - finally!
We cautiously celebrated that evening - laughing, dreaming, sharing concerns and ideas over our dinner. He had beer with his meal - and for the first time in a long time, I did not. My new life had begun...
I say we celebrated "cautiously" because the ultrasound would confirm things were good - and that would happen the next morning. But let me tell you - that's a whole other story! And a funny one at that! So watch for "Part Two!"
Things I am thankful for today:
2. Writing down our story.
3. A Friday morning at home.
4. Huge possibilities for the hubby!
5. A night out at the ball game, with friends, last night.
6. Cuddles with the pup this morning.
7. Bookshelves ordered and received - let the "nesting" begin!
8. Time for a nap... Thank goodness!
9. Yoga pants.
10. "Munchkin's" movements in my belly!
Day Retreat: Day Five
2 hours ago