I just watched a video online of a sermon that was given this past weekend at one of our local mega-churches... It was all about making this new year better than the last year - by taking responsibility for our own actions. By losing the "buts" in our lives. It resonated with me - it put into words the way I try to live my life (not always successfully...).
The pastor talked about how we naturally look for someone to blame when things don't go the way we would like. I can't get to work on time because there's so much traffic. I didn't get my homework done because my friend needed my help. I won't be able to lose weight because of my genetics (parents' fault, right?!). I don't make enough money because my employer is out to get me. Blah, blah, blah.
It's easy to make excuses and blame others... But what does it get you? The points of the sermon were: 1)Blame creates conflict. (Think about it - do you like being blamed? Do you take it lightly?) And 2)Blaming others keeps you stuck. Yep. I can blame others all day long - but how does that help me move forward?
When my hubby and I share our problems with each other at the end of the day, we always allow each other to vent (and blame)... But then, when we're ready to move forward, we also ask, "Where was your responsibility in this issue? And what can you do to move forward?" I can't change someone else's actions or decisions, but I can certainly control how I respond and how I move on from here. It's been a really helpful tool in our lives to approach things this way!
But I know it's hard to get there. We never want to admit screwing up, hurting others' feelings, or allowing others to hurt us. When I ask other people, "what do you think your responsibility was in this situation?" sometimes, people respond openly and willingly - relieved to see that they can make a difference in whether it happens again, or not. But others take offense. They aren't willing to see their own faults and imperfections. And that makes me sad...
We are all imperfect, broken, and vulnerable. That's human nature. When we're able to open up about our insecurities and imperfections - life opens up. Relationships become deeper and more meaningful - and we're able to be more fully human.
Blame doesn't do any good. To me, moving forward in a positive way is so much more productive. It brings more hope, joy, and faith in others (and myself).
I agree. Working on taking responsibility for our own choices and actions is a great way to make this year better! I'm starting today.
Things I am thankful for today:
1. A beautiful sunrise!
2. Having the hubby's support in a new endeavor.
3. A delicious dinner last night!
4. Being back to work full-time!
5. Ready to start this new year - and collecting the fun little moments and memories!
6. Inspirations that come from unlikely sources.
7. Watching "The Bachelor" with Mike. Too funny!
8. Going for a lovely walk last night.
9. New possibilities.
QotD: What song is stuck in your head? "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding... The morning news was just talking about today being the 45th anniversary of the song. I can guarantee it will be stuck in my head the rest of the day!